Church

Like to know how this post will look like in real when published.
So lets see what the result will be!

This is my genuine church where i got part of my spiritual education.

Together with some Coffeebar visits at YFC Eindhoven during the '70-ties and '80-ties

and some bigger events i attended .

It made me help finding my way though life,giving it a clear direction.

I do have had some difficulties with Church as a concept. The way life hardened out on me personally it helped me to curb some dogma's i had learned along the way.

And that's how i found my freedom,the weight got of my shoulder and i finally felt a renewal in my spirit. After Years i felt abandoned of what i thought was "God" until i found out that what had left me was my concept of "God" just the way i had put it together during the proces of attending church.

It's through my poems and carefully looking into nature how i found my way of dealing with God,Life,Faith,Hope,Fear,Sin,Trust,Failure,Joy,Grief,etc.

Sad Song

I used to come here often

Yesterday when i was young

I loved the peaceful quietness

But somehow it went wrong

The stillness now has changed

Into a deadly silence

Every time i try

To set foot on holy ground

The loneliness gets harder

And all my thoughts profound

There is no end in crying

You’re gathering my tears

But deep down in my foolish heart

I’ve piled up my own fears

There seems to be no comfort

In praying to the skies

Cause you’re supposed to be there

but i think it’s a lie

My spirit is unfolding

I look up to the clouds

Butt all i see is unveiled secrets

Just like my restless doubts

I’m very disappointed

In what life has brought to me

But i’m hopelessly devoted

To your love for me

I can not hide my passion

I cannot walk away

I want you just to hold me

Until the youngest day.

Testing the entrance

Sometimes we knock on the door and it never seem to open.
We keep on knocking and waiting outside.
We know ,there is someone home though.
So we wait a little longer.
Sometimes we even raise our voice and yell.
Hey, anybody home?
Come on now, i know you're there! Just open up will you?

The second scroll

I have been hesitating for a long time to open up the second scroll. I think i've waited about seven years before i even had collected enough courage to do so.
Not even realizing what i was afraid of.
Maybe i was afraid of reading about the ultimate truth? Or maybe i just wasn't ready and didn't have the right mindset to open up myself for whatever message this scroll would contain?
Anyhow this time i felt i was ready for it and slowly my paw searched for the key of the small wooden box in which i had  kept it for all these years!
O opened the box and took out the scroll.
I carefully placed it on my tabel, grabbed a chair and put aside my sword.
As i tried to reach out to open it something strange happened.
Suddenly a wind like a summer breeze came   through my window.
bringing in a fresh smell as if the air had been washed . Inhaling this clean and purified air had a strange effect on me. Like some kind of drug . Instead of making me feel  numb  it just had  the opposite effect on me. I was alert as i had never been before. I could see shining through the canvas i could see some letters like small fading shadows, forming strange words in a language i first did not understand. I took a breath, closed my eyes and thought of Aslan and what He did for us at the stone table. Tears rolled out of my eyes and i felt a lions paw upon my right shoulder and heard Aslans voice speaking to me.

Dear Reepicheep, you won't have to open the scroll at all  my son, for i am here to give you complete insight in the message it contains.
As you know  among all the Narnian animals you've been chosen to be the courts jester, the small prophet that will speak out whenever he wants to. Speaking  about the true purpose of my Kingdom. As a real nobel Narnian knight you have  obeyed like a servant. For that is what you really are, my little servant, my eyes and mouth and ears. The salt that spices up Narnian life every now and then.
Through you i see, i act and i am.  right here in this Narnian world.
Even when you think i am not present at all,   i am here with you all the days of your life. Just keep that in mind will you?

"Yes Aslan":  i nodded and didn't know where to look.

O, It is allright Reepicheep,  you can look me in the face if you like. I know all about your curiosities , your failures and your flaws, so give it a try and don't be afraid. You won't be burning to ashes , just by looking me right in my face, my dear. Have you ever wondered why it is that you have fear to take a look upon my face at all?
 You see,  your fear is just telling you everything about your inside elaborations and failures.  It is telling you all about your inner thoughts, hidden choices, unknown sins and lack and it's confronting you with your own lack of trust . It says nothing  about My state of Godliness if that was what you we're thinking! You won't be burning away just by looking at me! So, give it a try will you?

I looked up, found His eyes, and was overwhelmed by the love that was radiating from His face!
As if He could see right through me, inside of me, all around me. Like , if He was scanning every inch of my mind body and soul in just one glance, just one split second.
I immediately knew what He saw and felt so ashamed of myself but He just smiled and kept silent for a while.

You see what i think you see right know i asked?
HM hm he nodded and smiled!
You can see through my thoughts even those ehm... bad ones i sometimes have?

Ah do you have them? He replied . It is a comforting thought to know that you realize that you have them.  and even smiled a bit more.

But how can You stand there ,seeing through me, what i think, where i am afraid of. What i should have done but didn't? How can You keep staring at me and not become angry with me, my acts or lack of acts?

Well?....He smiled a litte more. I think.... it is because I love you!
Yes i definitely know it is only because i really love you!
Is that answer satisfying enough for you?

I couldn't speak, i couldn't swallow a felt on my knees and was reaching out to His paws to kiss them.
And He just kept silent, kept looking at me with such loving eyes!!

What is Art Larry Norman

the words of larry norman

what is art? - 1990
What is ART? God is the Creator of our World, Our Universe. His art is LIFE. He has made a visible world around us, full of detail and complexity, and He has lavished the same intricate care on the world outside of our periphery. High in the mountains where men seldom walk, God has always given rich colours and delicate perfumes to each flower He has made. He didn't smudge the definition, forget to cluster the priapic pistil with pollen kissed stamen simply because explorers and their sherpas might not see them.

Deep in the ocean where the pressure-per-square-inch prevents any man's eyes from watching, unseen and uncategorized fish-things enjoy their life cycle in God's gaze, particulate, fluorescent, soft-boned and shimmering in gilled glory, not for the approval of man but for God's pleasure.

Life is God's art. God has rendered His art in our universe in three dimensions; revealed Himself to us in the Trinity, Given man the triune aspects of body, spirit, soul; set us in motion on the planes of time, space and matter, bonded our entities with the protons, neutrons and electrons; translated matter catalystially into energy through proteins, carbohydrates and fats; supported our life on land, air and sea with food, oxygen and water.

He has given to man and woman a child, and the three perceptive senses of touch, sight, and sound. While textbooks errantly include taste and smell and scientists debate the presence of quarks and black holes, God moves on and doesn't move at all. He is the Alpha, The I Am, and the Omega; The Past, The Omni-Present and The Future.

There were three crosses on that hill. One man was perfect, one man repented of his imperfection, and the third man embraced his sin in willful death lock, unrepentant. Christ spent three days in the grave. He broke the gates of death and arose, sealing the resurrection, redemption, and salvation for the cause of our body, spirit and soul. Now we have good, great reason to walk in faith, hope and love in this three dimensional realm He fashioned for us. One third of the angels fell and the other two-thirds stand against them in the strength of that majority, while God sustains us as we wrestle not against flesh, or blood, but against spiritual principalities; that wickedness ascribed to high places.

What is the art of man? It is sufficient as a pale copy of God's visible Creation. No painter ever brushed, colored, and shaped at his canvas with any original vision. No sculptor molded the clay, chiseled the marble, or smelted the metal with any unimaginable result. We are God's unbound art, His Creation. Let us reflect this in our own art; His Love, His Mercy, His Forgiveness.

Larry Norman - East Berlin 1990

What's this?

Something's going on
I don't know what it is but it's getting stronger
Something's on the move
from outer space or through time
either or it won't take any longer
but if it arrives
there's no place to hide
darkness will fade into the brightest light

Have i seen the white witch?

Walking through the forest i realize i haven't seen the white witch for a long time.
Better be not, 'cause she is a hell of a person to deal with.
She can be so persistent and disturbing, just when she whispers in your ear.
Sometimes it's like she's really inside your head, where she keeps on nagging you about the most trivial subjects you can't even imagine.
What kind of clothes you wear,the right matching color of your shoes or boots or whatever you have down there on your feet or need i say hoofs.
She 's constantly accusing you of things you haven't done and thats the most difficult part of her. She knows it all too well for every other person to say. What to think or not to think.
She can really be a pain in the @#ss sometimes.
I know as a talking animal we should be using bad language but hey, what would you do?

Turning my back

I became so tired of observing mankind that i turned my back on them.
Instead i walked through the forest looking for fauns and fairies but they too seem to have faded away. As if they  were just something of the dim and distant past, before the medieval times, where witches took a hold on solid Narnian ground.
As a result of this , i withdrew myself and searched for a cave to stay in during winter.
I gladly found shelter in a long deserted small cave. It as still furnished with a small bed,a stove and some chairs and a table to sit at.

On this there was lying seven  old scrolls with things written on them.
As i opened one of the scrolls suddenly a fire began to burn in the chimney at the back of the room.
As i was reading on a face was revealing itself through the flames.
It seemed to be saying something to me.
Dear Reepicheep, listen well to what i tell for no one ever heard these words.
Be the jester of this court, be the prophet of these woods be the fool for everybody to laugh about but be aware of the strength that will guide you.
I will make you the first speaking animal ever in Narnian history, to enter the great borders of this empire. You will be the first speaking animal that will see the great emperor face to face and live.
I also will give you the talent of using your mouth as a two edged sword.
For i have seen your struggle, i have felt your pain and i have ordained that you are worthy , above all other animals, to be the first.
As i finished listening to this voice the face disappeared from the flames and i found myself transfigured,almost glowing in this small dark cave but that also faded away soon.
I put the first scroll aside and was hesitating to start reading the second scroll and decided to wait till the next morning. It was getting pitch dark outside and it was time to close my eyes for a good night sleep.

Until i will wake up i'm under the eye.
Sleep tight and good night!